Finding yourself in hardship.

The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.

Love Love this quote. It basically sums up my whole situation right now. I am going through some tough times right now and it has really been hard for me to keep a happy face on. I’ve realized over the years that I have always been that type of person that tried to become someone else. I have always been with friends that I wished I was. I looked up to them, thinking to myself; why can’t I be that confident? Why can’t I be that smart? Why do I have to be so fat? All these questions were in my head while being with them. When I separated myself from my friends to figure out who I am, I realized that I have absolutely no clue. I have been so focused on looking at other people and watching how they live their lives and putting myself last. It’s been a big wake up call for me and I believe it’s time that I start working on myself, especially on loving myself.

After my realization, I finally understood that my only true friend was Allah. Allah has stood by my side even though I have been slacking when it comes to doing my Islamic duties. Allah answered my duas even though I most of the times prayed without Khusoo. Allah is the only one who can make my pain go away and replace it with happiness. Allah is the only one who can make me go from insecure to confident.

But my big question was; HOW WILL I COME CLOSER TO ALLAH? I don’t have that much knowledge, I don’t have any friends that are serious about the deen, there is no Koran school in my neighborhood. But as the ayah say: ”And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” (Surah talaq

 SubhanAllah, powerful verse! 

I will from now on, always turn to Allah. When I’m happy I will turn to Allah, when I’m angry I will turn to Allah and when I’m sad I will cry out to Allah and pray!

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